Lights, Camera, Oh My Kami
by JoAT.Nat.MoN
Summary: My name is Tsunade, and I'm making a movie. I think Sakura needs a boyfriend and...Naruto? Oh Kami! What the hell is that! Chaos, romance, and OOCness will ensue. GaaSaku. Minor NaruHina, ShikaTema, NejiTen. Enjoy.


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I know, I'm an evil little person for making another story. What can I say? The thought raccoons are running rampant!

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Isn't it...plot bunnies?

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NO! I say thought raccoons. Shut up.

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Okay then...

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I thought of this one last night. :] Hope it pleases.

Summary: My name is Tsunade, and I'm making a movie. I think Sakura needs a boyfriend and...Naruto? Oh Kami! What the hell is that?! Chaos, romance, and OOCness will ensue. :] GaaSaku. Minor NaruHina, ShikaTema, NejiTen. Enjoy. :]

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Lights, Camera, Oh My Kami

Take 1

"What are you spouting off now? Are you drunk again!?" Sakura screeched at her mentor.

"No! It's just a minor hangover. That's beside the point, Sakura. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to get everyone together again." Tsunade said, smiling.

"Are you serious, shishou? A movie for Kami's sake?" Sakura asked, exasperated.

Tsunade nodded, folding her hands on her desk.

"Yes, a movie. I think that we can all really bond with this, and it might strengthen the ties with Suna."

"How?"

"By giving them parts in the movie of course. I'll be the director and as my pupil, you get to be the main character. Now we just need the man you're going to be falling in love with..." Tsunade muttered.

"It's a romance?" Sakura groaned.

Tsunade flashed her a grin. "It's popular nowadays."

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"Whatcha got there, Gaara?" Kankuro asked, peeking over Gaara's shoulder.

Gaara swatted Kankuro away.

"It looks like a scroll from Konoha, but this makes no sense at all," Gaara murmured.

"What do you mean?" Kankuro asked.

"Gaara!" Temari called, rushing in the office.

Gaara faced a random direction. "Doesn't anyone knock any more?"

"Oh little brother! This is the most wonderful news!" Temari exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

"Girls are swarming outside waiting for me to bless them with many children?" Kankuro asked happily.

Temari smacked him across the face. "No you baka! We get to go to Konoha! They're making a movie, and we get to be in it."

Gaara set the scroll down and looked at Temari, then at the partially unconscious Kankuro on the floor.

"No," Gaara deadpanned.

"But why?!" Temari whined.

"It has no meaning. It's stupid and a waste of time. I have Kazekage duties to attend to. You and Kankuro may go, but I will not be." Gaara said, returning to his writing.

Temari and Kankuro stared at each other before rushing Gaara. They each grabbed an arm and dragged him out the door. Now, normally Gaara would've used his sand to get them off, but these were his siblings! He couldn't just kill/hurt/maim them in any way!

"Take care of the village while were gone you old geezers!" Temari called down the hall to anyone who was listening.

"You don't call the council old geezers, Temari!" Gaara fumed.

"Eh. Screw 'em. Shikamaru's outside waiting for us. He's our escort." Temari said.

"Ooh! Temari's getting a little hot and bothered." Kankuro teased.

Ten seconds(and punches) later, the three sand siblings met with Shikamaru at the Suna gate. Shikamaru took the last drag of his cigarette before smashing it into the sand. He blew out the smoke, took one look at Kankuro, and raised an eyebrow.

"Temari got to you did she?" Shikamaru asked, when he saw the bruises accenting Kankuro's face.

"Yup."

"Troublesome yet strong," Shikamaru commented, yawing. "Good afternoon, Kazekage-sama."

"Shikamaru-san, after all the time you've spent with us, I think you can just call me Gaara."

"Alright then, Gaara-sama. You guys ready to go?"

Temari nodded. "Yep."

"Then let's go."

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Tsunade paced her office, deep in thinking mode, while Shizune and TonTon watched her from a corner.

"What are you thinking about, Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked, putting TonTon down.

"This movie I'm directing, Shizune. Do you know the whole purpose behind it?" Tsunade asked.

"Isn't it to strengthen ties between the two villages?" Shizune pointed out.

"Pah. I could care less about that." Tsunade said, while Shizune sweat dropped.

"But...Lady Tsunade..."

"No, I care about my apprentice! She deserves to be with a man!" Tsunade said, slamming her hand on her desk. "I intend to find her a suitor. That's what this movie is about."

Shizunes jaw dropped. "You can't be serious!"

"Oh but I am," Tsunade said, pulling out more sake from her desk. "Now, leave me. I have to finish this script before the Suna ninja get here."

"Yes, Lady Tsunade," Shizune said, heading for the door.

"Oh and Shizune?"

"Yes?"

"No mention of this to Sakura. Got it?"

"Very well, Lady Tsunade."

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"I hate it, Hinata. I just hate it." Sakura said, fuming over her bowl of ramen.

She was currently at Ichiraku, talking with Hinata. She was debating on calling Naruto, but she knew that Hinata would listen so she called her instead. Of course, Hinata agreed to come by and talk with Sakura.

"I don't understand w-why Lady Hokage would be d-doing something like t-this. Do you think s-she is actually, uhm, doing it strengthen ties with the v-villages?" Hinata asked, breaking apart her chopsticks.

Sakura stabbed at her ramen angrily. "I don't know, Hinata. It seems really fishy to me. I mean, a movie? And me being the main character? Something is up. Shishou doesn't do things half-assed or meaningless."

After her small rant, Sakura and Hinata ate in a comfortable silence. When they were done, Sakura paid for their meals, despite Hinata's quiet protests.

"Thanks for listening, Hinata. I really needed that." Sakura said, smiling.

"No problem at all, Sakura-san. I was h-happy to do it." Hinata said, giving her a small smile back.

"If you need anything, Hinata, just let me know. Whether it's help with training or getting that blonde idiot to notice you, just give me a call." Sakura laughed when Hinata fumbled over her words and pushed her fingers together like she used to do when she was younger.

"Don't worry. You're secret's safe with me." Sakura said winking at Hinata. "Healers honor."

Hinata laughed quietly. "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Of course," Sakura waved to Hinata and headed home.

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The next day, Tsunade appraised the boys in front of her. Out of all the boys there, she had narrowed it down to just four. Whichever one got chosen would be the one who would play Sakura's 'lover'. And if Tsunade's plan worked out just right, in time, Sakura would warm up to the boy and they would eventually love each other.

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Hm...So there's Naruto, Kankuro, Gaara, and Shino. Shino's a bit too quiet for my tastes, and Sakura doesn't like bugs. Naruto's too annoying, and I do know that Hinata likes him. Kankuro is...a bit of a pervert, and I don't think Sakura deserves that. Gaara would seem to be the most logical choice, but he did try to kill her when they were younger. Then again, he's seemed to have grown a lot...

"Alright!" Tsunade called, causing three of the boys to jump. Shino just pushed up his glasses and stared at Lady Tsunade. "Shino, Kankuro, and Naruto, step back a bit."

Gaara raised a nonexistent eyebrow at the Hokage.

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What the hell is she planning?

Gaara crossed his arms.

"As you all know, I've decided to make a movie. Question my motives for this, and I will take you down." Tsunade eyed every single one of the boys.

Some averted their eyes, some shuffled their feet, and some (Kankuro and Lee) fainted.

"It's a romance movie," Tsunade continued, despite the groans and complaints from the boys. "We already have our girl main character, and we just needed one more. Kazekage-sama, it would be an honor if you would be our boy main character."

All the boys held their breath and watched Gaara for any reaction. Gaara merely shrugged.

"Sure. Why not?" Gaara said.

Tsunade grinned, something Gaara found absolutely no solace in.

"Excellent," she murmured. "And so the fun begins."

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And what does Lady Tsunade have up her sleeve?

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Sake?

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Besides that.

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Jiraya's Icha Icha novels?

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Shut up.

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Shutting.

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Anyway obviously this is the prologue. They'll get longer as we go on and-

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They will?

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Imagine you're a door.

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Okay

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I'm shutting you.

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You're mean.

_Okay then. They'll get longer as the story progresses. Reviews are love people. :]_

_BulletGirl-Cherryblossom _and **Raven**


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